Ok, before I start the post, I have to transcribe the conversation Elizabeth and I just had about my job in Inter-Library Lending in my school's library.
Sarah: I just pulled a book for the Executive Office of the President of the United States of America.
Liz: Was it Everybody Poops?
(Sarah doesn't breathe for the next ten minutes.)
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Anyways, on with the post.
I've seen the Six Weird Things meme floating around on a number of blogs over the past month or so, and now that I'm in Austin for Spring Break, and I can make Liz do whatever I want, we're totes doin' it. But! With a twist! I will write Six Weird Things about Elizabeth, and she will write Six Weird Things about me. I've already got about ten weird things about her floating around in my head, but I bet she's going to have a hard time with this. I'm about as normal as they come.
That's us in the middle, weirdin' it up already, at such a young age!
Here we go!
Six Weird Things About Elizabeth, by Sarah
1. Elizabeth is a freak for Nerds. Seriously. She would probably pole vault over my lifeless corpse for a half-full box of them. If she could, she would grind them into powder and snort them like coke. I can just see her now, in a disco club's bathroom, hunched over rainbow-colored lines, rolled up Washington at the ready... it's a sad, sad picture.
2. If you ever have a particularly hairy customer service issue that you have to work out over the phone, Elizabeth is the one you want navigating that web of hell for you. I call the cell phone company because my phone is broken, they laugh in my face (or ear, as it were). I put Elizabeth on the phone, and I can expect not only a new phone, but a dozen roses, a box of Godivas, and a note of apology on my doorstep the next morning. Well, not really. But still. She's got skills.
3. Elizabeth has [redacted] cats! I mean, I like cats almost as much as the next person, but that's pretty much ridiculous. I guess I can't make too much fun, she really does seem to love them. I mean, I drop a french fry in between the couch cushions and she's ready to behead me, the cats dump out an entire paper shredder and roll around in the confetti and she act like its the cutest thing she's ever seen. The cats, being typical felines, are kind like, well, I guess sorta okay with her. I'm more of a dog person myself. At least you know when they like you.
4. You may not be able to tell by reading her relatively demure craft blog, but Elizabeth is a total badass. She got kicked off her high school color guard twice. Supposedly it was because of her "attitude problem," when really it was because she wouldn't let her sadistic coach sit on her back while she did push ups. She also made her, ahem, inexperienced senior year Spanish teacher cry when the hag tried to humiliate her in front of the entire class for talking when the entire class was talking. Don't mess with Liz, she messes back.
5. Whenever Liz shows me something she's made, I usually tell her how great it is, and then she usually expends a ridiculous amount of energy telling me exactly how and why it sucks harder than a black hole. She is so, so, so wrong. Just about everything she touches is glorious. Whenever she shows me a new sweater or purse, I usually try to convince her to give it to me as a "Happy Wednesday!" or "Congratulations On Showing Up to Work On Time Today!" present, so I take her disapproval of her own work as an insult to my taste. And that's mean.
6. Elizabeth gets trapped in the closet on a nightly basis. It is maybe a little less weird than it sounds, but not by much. Seth usually goes to sleep well before Liz, so she sets up camp in their giant, giant closet. She sits in there with her laptop and a knitting project, watching Scubs DVDs (ohmygod, how awesome is Scrubs???) or talking online to me. she says its downright comfy in there, with a pillow and a quilt perhaps... But I still think she's a nutjob. A sweet, funny, talented nutjob, of course. Can you tell that I just remembered that she's about to start writing about me?
Six Weird Things About Sarah, by Elizabeth
1. Sarah likes to make up words. Well, maybe not make up, but abbreviate. It all started with "totes inapropes." Totes means totally, inapropes means inappropriate. It's kind of caught on in our family, and you really haven't lived until you've heard your eight year old brother tell your sixteen year old sister that her outfit is "totes inapropes."
2. Sarah will not ever, never let things go. I told her once that I was "exceptional" at crochet and now whenever we talk about crochet she calls me "exceptional." I was trying to tell her that I can pretty much read any pattern and make it happen, and it just came out wrong. That was months and months ago, and still. I am Liz the Exceptional. The last time she was in town I was talking about making knitting patterns for different magazines and I made use of the phrase, "knitted garments." Sarah immediately got her Tim Gunn voice on and didn't stop making fun of my pretentious vocabulary for a solid hour. She still brings it up when she thinks I'm getting a little too big for my britches.
3. Sarah is obsessed with mermaids. OBSESSED. It started at the impressionable age of 3 with the Little Mermaid, and continues to this day with a velvet mermaid poster she is coloring in with markers. She's crazy. (Sarah would like me to add that she would never, say, walk up to you on the street and ask you if you had accepted The Mermaid as your personal lord and savior. She likes to keep her crazy under wraps.)
4. Sarah would much rather sing a conversation than speak it, any day of the week. If a lyric to a song is even remotely related to what we're talking about, believe me, she's singing it. If she can't think of a real song, hell, she'll just make one up on the fly. She's pretty much a master improvisor.
5. Sarah has a 256 gig hard drive hooked up to a 1998 Sony Vaio laptop, worth probably about $30.
6. When Sarah gets mad at me, she touches my face. She knows it makes me want to kill her. So maybe all those times she tried to leave a thumbprint on my forehead she wasn't mad, but suicidal. Hmmmm...
That was fun!